I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
