Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
