I think my vagina is haunted
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I believe in your delicious
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