but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
