WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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