It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
