We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
