Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
