We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
pray to the hookup gods
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
