I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
