i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
