sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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