i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
