I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
