i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
