So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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