The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
