They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
