You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
