no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
