even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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