you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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