It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
