Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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