glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
