PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize