Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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