Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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