Will you blow on my dice?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
