I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just had sex on a roof
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
