I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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