I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I've blown a few things in my day
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
