it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
