Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
how drunk are you?
Several
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
