Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
