I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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