Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Every concussion has its silver lining
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
