She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
