I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize