I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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