a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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