Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
