I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
