M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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