i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
