Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
