I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
