You really coming over, don't trick.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
