They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
