Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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