He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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