Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
