Got a toothbrush?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize