hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
