i would punch a child for taco bell
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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