Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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