so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
