it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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