i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
