shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize