AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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