You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
