i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
