she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
