There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
