so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
