I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
