I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i drank out of a bidet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
