only you would photoshop your dick
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
