the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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